Grizzly Bear Blues - All Posts

Grind Prophecies: Don't Bluff Now

2013-05-25T18:03:29Z

It what can only be described as the biggest must-win game of the year, the Grizzlies return home following adequate rest to try to gain a footing in the Western Conference Finals win column. There are a lot of elements at play in this series, but one question I have yet to figure out is "who do the Grizzlies want taking shots?" A large part of previous series wins, is the Grizzlies defense designed their defense to allow certain players to shoot certain shots. Sephalosha threes, Crawford contest shots.

However, this Spurs series has not seen this question answered. Every Spur has responded to the opportunity to knock down shots. Danny Green, Matt Bonner and Kwahi Leonard have all made their mark on this series, but can the Grizzlies force them into shots they do not want to take? Can they run them off the three-point line and force them into turnovers?

Tell us what you think in today's Grind Prophecies. Go Grizz!!!

Game Score and Winner (correct predictions receive 3 points, if no correct predictions, 1 point awarded to member(s) with closest differential)
The Grindmaster (3 points awarded to correct predictions; if Grindmaster title is split between 2 players, 2 points go to each member who predicted either player)
Combined Points of Bonner, Green and LeonardUndefeated at home in the 2013 playoffs, the Grizzlies must not bluff in Game 3 if they wish to obtain a trip to the NBA Finals. (3 points awarded to correct predictions; if no correct answers, 1 point awarded to member(s)who are closest without going over)
User's Pick

Grind Prophecies Playoffs 2013 Official Rules

Grind Prophecies Playoffs Leader Board

Fraternizing with PtR, Episode 6: A Spurs Fan Who Can't Watch the Spurs?

2013-05-25T02:14:57Z

This is part six of a long conversation. The previous installments can be found here, here, here, here, and here.

SpursFanTN:

As a Spurs fan, I get to see a lot of beautiful plays. But I pretty much have to watch them in real time as Sportscenter is much more enamored with the most recent Lebron dunk. Last year was the most beautiful run of highly choreographed, dominating basketball on the offensive end of the court that I've ever witnessed. But it is hard to pick a play, or a moment, from years of greatness. So I'm going to going to go with two plays, neither of which had any meaningful impact on the game, but both stick in my memory.

The first is the most unexpected, and the second was just plain amazing. So, um, Hi, my name is Steve, and I'm a Matt Bonner fan. I've been sober 18 months, but sometimes I just get an urge to take just one more sip of Matt Bonner kook-aid. I can't help it. In a lot of ways Matt Bonner reminds me of my brother, you know, if my brother was a foot taller and a sandwich connoisseur from New England. I think a lot of the criticism leveled at him is warranted, and I would even say that for a few years, he was content with his game. But I think he really worked on his game and conditioning in the off season, and during the regular season even, when he wasn't seeing a lot of minutes. Anyway, he's a great guy, with a great attitude, without a shred of athleticism, that has found a place in a very athletically competitive industry. And I like to see him be successful.

The second is just Manu being Manu. I love Manu. He's been my favorite player for years, and it is difficult seeing him at the tail of his career with a body that won't do what his heart wants to do. Ginobili plays on the edge. He does risky things that result in turnovers, or awesome, game changing plays that get the fans involved, that elicit involuntary exclamations, that make you come up out of your seat, or shake your head marveling, or in the case of the clip I'm going to show you, makes you think, "What just happened?", followed by a euphemism of some kind, you know, like, "Holy cannon-fire, Batman!", or maybe something more conventional.

Game 2 is over. And it was closer as we expected. Z-Bo said that after Game 1, he couldn't sleep. And he didn't turn on ESPN or any other sports channel because he didn't want to hear them talk about the game. I saw Henry Abbott interviewing some Spurs super-tweeter. He said that when the Spurs lose, he is so frustrated he hits things sometimes and it takes him days to recover. Man, I totally get it. I feel the same way after a loss. I am a Spurs fan. As far as I know, "fan" is short for "fanatic". I guess that's me because there is no other way to explain my behavior. I am emotionally invested. Losing hurts.

When I used to play, I would do a Kobe (minus the media circus and grandstanding), and would follow up a loss with an extra hour or two of free throws and shooting around. That made me feel better. I could DO something productive with all of that upset energy. I have been known to do the same after a Spurs loss, as if my improved shooting would somehow help the team. It didn't, but still made me feel better. I'm not a screamer and I don't hit things, so when I can't do a shoot around, the emotion I'm feeling stays pent up inside and I'm agitated, irritable and even short with people for a few days, until it bleeds out. I'm a voracious Spurs news reader, watch video, listen to podcasts, but I do NONE of that when the Spurs lose. I can't stand it. I don't want to hear about it. I just wallow in despair and frustration. I have no idea how those other PtR guys write game recaps. I couldn't do it. It's crazy. Maybe it is emotionally immature, I don't know, I'm not an expert on such things. But that's the way it is for me.

I can watch football, baseball, golf, soccer, volleyball, tennis, and have a blast, appreciating the play of both sides. I can watch other NBA or college basketball and really get into it and just have fun. I can even enjoy hockey and as long as they have that highlighted thing on the puck, Otherwise, I feel like I'm being played, like they are all just pretending that they are hitting something around. Kind of like that commercial with Kevin James, Adam Sandler, David Spade and Chris Tucker, or Rock. I don't know, I get them confused. You know, the one where they are tossing around the imaginary ball? Yeah, hockey is not my thing, but in the right context, I can even enjoy hockey.

But the Spurs are a completely different story. I'm an emotional wreck. My fingernails take a beating. My stomach churns. I yell encouragement at the screen during the game. "You can do it guys!" "Just flippin' DUNK THAT, Splitter!" "You left him alone, AGAIN?!?!? You weren't even in position to help! Bleepin' stay home!!!" "Can we get a freakin' call?!?!?" You know, stuff that helps us win. But it is even worse than that. It's not just losing. I can handle the occasional loss if we played really well. Maybe once or twice a year that happens. When we start playing badly though, it is too much for me. Literally. I'm a happier person if I don't watch - so I don't.

2011 playoffs? I think I stopped watching after Game 3. Wife says, "You should go to a game since it is in Memphis." I tell her I don't want to go watch the Spurs lose, that they are not playing well. I couldn't even watch it on TV. If the Spurs had pushed it to 3-3, I would have watched game 7, but as we all know, that didn't happen, and I was glad I didn't watch the beat-down. 2012 WCF? I stopped watching after Game 3. I was so upset. I just couldn't bring myself to watch games 4-6. I know this sounds completely ludicrous. How crazy is it to not be a fan of football, yet enjoy watching it, but be a fan of the Spurs, and NOT be able to watch them play important games???

So, after that long, horrible, incriminating confession, now you know how I'm feeling today. What's that you say? Spurs won? Well, that's good news, but it still doesn't feel like it. Feels just like a loss. Anyway, you told us about your pre game rituals. How do you handle a loss? How are you able to start writing a recap within minutes of the game ending? I'm still staring into space, muttering things, or stalking around the house mumbling responses to my wife that don't make any sense because I'm still completely consumed. I'm afraid that if I had to write a recap after a loss, especially a bad loss, I would hurt my keyboard pounding it so hard. Does it bother you like that? Do you have coping mechanisms? Help me out here, because I apparently am ill suited to handle this.

Kevin Lipe:

It used to bother me like that. In 2012, during the playoff series against the Clippers, it 100% bothered me like that, to the point that I wasn't even sure I wanted to write about basketball anymore. I was so frustrated and so viscerally angry that I was (1) completely blocked and (2) unable to articulate clearly what it was that was bothering me so much. It was horrible. The worst experience of my life was being at Game 1 of that series, where the Grizzlies blew a 27-point lead and then Rudy Gay clanked a last-second potential gamewinner. It sucks.

This year, it's different, but it's different because I'm writing so much more. I have to write the recap that I'm signed up for. There is no one else to do it. I can't bail. So it's up to me to be able to channel that frustration into words and figure out how to condense it down to its essence, to poke it with a stick and see what it does. At times, it inspires me to write some of my best stuff. Other times, it's all I can do to edit out most of the curse words before I click "Approve & Publish."

Sometimes I'm not able to start minutes after the game. A couple of times I did a "next day recap" where it looked like I was intentionally taking longer to work on the piece, but the reality was that I was just too mad to actually sit down and think about it.

Channel it into words. That's all I can say. That's what made the difference for me--someone who has been exactly the kind of fan you describe: so emotionally involved that I can't even watch. It helps that the Griz won 56 games this season. The losses didn't happen near as often, but... there were certainly some bad ones.

The conversation continues over at Pounding the Rock, where SpursFanTN and I talk about the things we'd tell Griz and Spurs players heading into Game 3.

NBA Playoffs: Up 2-0, Spurs still very beatable

2013-05-25T00:49:18Z

I don't care what the scoreboard or the talking bobbleheads on TV say, the Memphis Grizzlies have the Spurs right where they want them.

Lets starts with a quick history lesson.

Last year, San Antonio beat the Thunder at home in their first two games in a very similar fashion. The series then switched to OKC, and the Spurs never won another game.

Is this San Antonio team really that much different this year? Sure, some of the role players have improved (Leonard, Green, Splitter) but it's not greater than the Grizzly improvement. Mike Conley and Quincy Pondexter are miles better, while Jerryd Bayless has been a heaven-sent combo guard off of the bench this season.

'Pop' and his guys claim that the Spurs defense is better. Maybe, but the stats say Memphis was actually a better defensive team this year. The Grizz were ahead of the Spurs in defensive rating. SAS was 8th in opp FG% 48.1%...MEM was 3rd 43.5%. Lionel Hollins' team was 1st in league in opponent ppg and 6th in forcing turnovers. The blowout in Game 1 was a rarity. That kind of Grizzly effort on BOTH ends won't happen again. Game 2 was more like Grizz basketball. I see an avalanche coming in Memphis this weekend as their defense returns to normal, continuing to grow each game.

Ah, but wait, the history lessons continue.

We all remember what the Grizzlies did to the Clipper a few weeks ago. They lost the first two games in L.A. just like they did in San Antonio this week. Game 1 wasn't close, while Game 2 just slipped out of their grasps. It didn't matter, though, as Memphis won the next four games.

My problem with the Spurs the past few years is that they don't have another level to go to when the competition level rises deeper in the playoffs. This is why the Thunder blew past them last year, because they had not one but two players who could go to another level. San Antonio is a great team all season because of their execution and consistency, but you need to have another gear to go to if you want to make it to the NBA Finals. They haven't had that ability on their roster since 2007...when Timmy, Tony, and Manu were much younger. In this series, the Grizzlies will continue to get better each and every game. However, I think we've already seen the best of the Spurs and it won't be enough when the Grindhouse Grizz hit their stride.

Lastly, lets look at the key matchup.

The Spurs are much like the Clippers in that they're really a one-man team. They only go as far as Tony Parker and his paint-attacks take them. Duncan won't continue to out-play Marc Gasol, especially back in Memphis, while Manu hasn't been a 'game changer' since early in the Warriors series.

Late in overtime of Game 2, 'Pop' took Parker out for defensive purposes. It was a subtle move that spoke volumes. When was the last time Mike Conley left a game because he couldn't guard anyone? When Lionel does that kind of thing with Zach Randolph, it's front page news. In well-respected San Antonio, though, it doesn't even make the papers. I have a strong feeling that Tony will be exploited down in Memphis...and it'll negatively affect his offensive game.

The Spurs made 14 three's in Game 1 then were fortunate to win Game 2 in OT. Memphis, meanwhile, has a knack for getting better as a series goes on and wearing on the opponent with their 'grinding' style of play. Each game they're better than the one before.

I think we've seen the best of the Spurs this year...and it won't be enough.

Memphis will win this series in seven.

NBA Playoffs: Grizzlies/Spurs Game 3 Preview: There's no place like home

2013-05-24T22:29:37Z

After a rough two games in San Antonio, the Memphis Grizzlies now return to the home crowd that has only watched them lose one game in the Grindhouse since February 8th. There's no doubt that Memphians and other TAMs^[1] will do their part by filling the FedexForum with a raucous bruhaha of basketball passion. The question and answer will lie within what the Grizzlies plan to do about it all.

The Griz simply cannot come out looking like they have the past couple of games. Getting down early will be a recipe for disaster that'll make the entire arena anxious, and in turn probably hinder the Grizzlies from finding a comfort zone in the first half. The Tayshuan/Qpon debate has been on broadcast all week, and the resounding conclusion seems to be that the probable scenario keeps Prince as the starter but will have him subbed out much earlier to give Pondexter some quality minutes with the starters. There's no arguing that perimeter shooting opens up space for Marc and Zach, but until we mix in some made shots the Spurs will continue to barricade the paint, and the beast-like qualities of our big guys will be largely negated.

the probable scenario keeps Prince as the starter but will have him subbed out much earlier to give Pondexter some quality minutes with the starters

In Game 2 the Grizzlies' defense did a fair job of shoring itself up from the sieve that it was in Game 1 while leaving themselves plenty of room for improvement. I can't say the unnecessary "help defense" was completely filtered out, as the Spurs still got multiple wide open looks in the 2nd half. SA isn't going to continue missing open shots (remember gm1?). If the Griz are going to turn this into their kind of game, it's imperative that they communicate better on defense and continue to make the Spurs take contested shots. San Antonio dropped from 53% FG shooting in gm1 to 43% in gm2, so there is reason to believe that Memphis can continue to improve against the pinball machine that is the Spurs' offensive ball movement.

Keys to Game 3:

Quincy Pondexter - it sounds like you're going to get your minutes. You have to make your shots or it won't matter. Qpon needs to continue his hot shooting in the playoffs, and he needs to get his shot selection to rub off on everything else... leading me to...
Better offensive shot selection. And that includes a lot more than just "open" shots. I don't have all the sports science knowledge to spell out exactly how and why it's happening, but the Spurs have done a good job of taking the Griz out of timing in half court sets. Tony needs to live and die by the 5/5 rule. Marc needs to pop the outside shots he gets with a defender 5 feet off him before he looks for a pass. Bayless needs to stop driving in the lane unless he's got a 1on1. Zbo needs to do the opposite and go at the rim as often as possible.
Stop trying to force the steals. I know it's one of our calling cards and it's a valuable tool for shifting momentum, but the Griz have cheated so many times on defense in this series that you'd think they had a copy of the Spurs playbook or something. What ends up happening is that we bail the Spurs out of rough possessions by defending well for 10-15 seconds and then getting burnt on the steal attempt. Keep your man defended longer and the steals will come, I promise.
Bench rebounding. Our front court bench players have tallied a total of 17 rebounds in the first two games. We don't have a ton of sharp shooters on this team so getting second chance points is huge. Quincy did a nice job last game, but Arthur and Davis (if by some voodoo magic he ends up playing) have to bring more effort and energy.
Play smarter. I know that's a vague copout, but it's so incredibly true. In a radio interview today, Keyon Dooling said he doesn't believe the Griz have yet played well at any moment in this series. I'd have to agree - we haven't seen the true Grizzlies yet. It's all in the quick, little things: force players to go to their offhand, be more aware of the pace on fast breaks, find a good shot rather than trying to get a foul called. I know there's gotta be some good tidbits being sent down from Hollinger - use that math to your advantage.

I won't say this is a must-win for the Grizzlies, but technically I just did by even mentioning it. It's more a must-win for the actual Grizzlies players because the overwhelming sentiment I get from our fan base is a belief that this is no different than the deficit we started with in the Clippers series. Our boys in Beale St Blue need to reassert their belief in themselves. I have no doubts that our Griz aren't satisfied with merely forcing an overtime again. Let's be the faster, stronger team and take care of the Grindhouse.

1. TAM - acronym for Tennessee, Arkansas, Mississippi, in ref to residents

Poll

Who would you rather have taking a final shot? (Griz fans only please)

Weekly Bathroom Reads

2013-05-24T02:16:46Z

Welcome back, folks, to the fifth edition of this week in links. By now, you all know what this is, so let's dive right in.

Grizzlies Links

Rob Mahoney - SI.com: Don't be fooled by the Grizzlies Game 2 comeback: Mahoney takes a look back at Game 2, and the gist of the article is that people are overhyping the Grizzlies moral victory. While this won't be popular among Grizzlies fans, he makes some excellent points in his article, and it is a great writeup overall. He uses video to breakdown the Grizzlies uncharacteristic defensive blunders as well, which is fascinating.

Ananth Pandian - Hardwood Paroxysm: Zach Randolph Rap Anthems: This is just a fan piece that changes the pace in an attempt to take your mind off of the grind of the NBA Playoffs so to speak. Enjoy.

Matthew Cianfrone - Hickory-High: The Twittersphere Breaks Down Game 2: Cianfrone contributes to Hickory-High, but he used Storify to compile a list of tweets that occurred during Game 2 of the Grizzlies-Spurs series. It's really neat to take a look at what other people think about the Grizzlies and get their unique take on the way the Grizzlies play the game.

To take a brief hiatus from your reading, check out this AWESOME picture below of this Grizzlies fan. That takes some serious dedication. (Photo by Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images)

Kevin Helliker, Chris Herring, and Stu Woo - The Wall Street Journal: Analyzing The Grizzlies Left-Handed Advantage: These men talked to Frank Lawler, a Physician, who has studied the issue and has drawn some interesting conclusions from his research about the significance of having a roster full of lefties in basketball.

Chris Herrington - Memphis Flyer: The Grizz Glossary: Kevin already tweeted out this link, but in case you missed it, you should give it a read. It is great writing, and thus a fun read. Plus, I don't think anybody can really get enough Grizzlies terminology.

Lee Jenkins - Sports Illustrated: Hangin' With The Grizz: Jenkins followed the Grizzlies around for a week and wrote about it. The results are amazing.

NBA Links

Zach Lowe - Grantland: NBA Draft Lottery Observations: Lowe was one of the few media members actually at the lottery allowed in the room it was filmed in, so he was able to write about the event from a unique perspective which is always cool.

Royce Young - Daily Thunder: Kevin Durant Donated $1 Million To Tornado Relief Efforts: This was by far the coolest story of the week after the tornadoes swept through the state of Oklahoma. As if we needed any more evidence to support the fact that Durant is an outstanding person off the court as well as on, he proves it to us again. He did not even give a press release when he donated the money. He is a rare breed of athlete.

Joe Flynn - SB Nation's Posting & Toasting: H8ERZ Guide to The Eastern Conference Finals: Flynn does an excellent job of combining humor and basketball. 'Nuff said.

Andrew Sharp - Grantland: Kawhi Leonard Conundrum: Sharp, a Wizards fan, revisits recent NBA Drafts and displays pure sadness over the Wizards not drafting Leonard when they had the chance. If you love draft retrospectives like me, this is for you.

Trey Kerby - The Basketball Jones: David West Falls Asleep in Press Conference: You can watch the whole press conference if you want, but the situation with West is near the beginning. I have watched it ten times, and I laugh out loud every time.

If you have any links to add, feel free to post them in the comments! Go Grizz!

Marc Gasol Named to 2nd Team All NBA

2013-05-23T19:27:09Z

A historically good season just keeps getting better. Today Marc Gasol was named to the 2012-2013 All-NBA Second Team.

Gasol, who has already been named the Defensive Player of the Year, helped lead the Grizzlies to their most successful season in franchise history. Now, he's seeing personal accolades pile up.

Joining Gasol on the second team are Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, Tony Parker, and Russell Westbrook. The first team consists of LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul, and Tim Duncan.

This is an incredible honor the big fella, and he's the second Grizzly to be named to receive the distinction, the first being Zach Randolph in 2010-2011. With Gasol on the floor, the Grizzlies held opponents to an NBA best 89.3 points per game, and the Spaniard also posted 14 points, 7.8 rebounds and a career high 4 assits per game. His numbers have continued to climb, reaching 17.5 points, 8.3 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2.15 blocks per game in the postseason, as he has helped Memphis advance farther than they ever have in franchise history.

No one could have seen this coming when we acquired his rights several years ago in the trade for his brother, but what started out as a laugher has turned into a full-fledged win for the Grizzlies. With Gasol in his prime (28), and an ever improving Mike Conley (25, Memphis is poised for success for many years to come.

While You Were Grinding: Off Topic Edition

2013-05-23T18:48:18Z

With many moons set to pass between Game 2 and Game 3, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do a very special playoff edition of ‘While You Were Grinding.' Due to the fact that the season is still kind of going on, and the offseason hasn't technically started yet, this will also be more of an ‘Off Topic' edition. And you know what? That's a good thing. In the midst of a highly stressful playoff run, sometimes it's nice to just take your mind off basketball.

The postseason offers highly entertaining basketball, and the chance to build up the archives of your sports memories database, but it can also be intensely annoying, especially at this stage. Throughout the season, we'll see fans of opposing teams sTroll their way over here and talk about how they know for a fact they have a better team than we do, but best of luck anyways. Occasionally they're right, and occasionally they're wrong, but they are always kind of annoying. In the playoffs, it gets worse, because you play the same team multiple times over the span of a few weeks, and with every win and loss, the arguments get more ridiculous and aggravating. "Seriously? You think the team you cheer for is better than the team I cheer for? Let me tell you why you're an idiot who knows nothing about basketball..." That's not to say all opposing fans aren't level headed, or even that all Grizzlies fans are. Need I remind anyone of the guy who said Austin Daye was the second coming of Larry Bird? But it's just all very tiring, even to a Grizzlies fan who said Spurs in 5.[1]

You also get bombarded with media attention that a team like the Grizzlies just doesn't normally get. But I will say this; I do enjoy it, even the negative stuff, which is right up our ally. My favorite thing is how most media outlets have called Tony Allen's fall from the Manu Ginobli foul a "flop." Now let me clarify, did Tony sell the call by holding his head even though he didn't hit it? Absolutely, and undeniably. But there's a big difference between selling the contact and flopping. It's pretty tough to "flop" when you're dragged to the ground. Plus, we all know Tony pretty well by now, and it honestly isn't out of the realm of possibility that he just didn't know what was hurting yet. Tony has a screw loose, and a few wires crossed, and that's why we love him, but it could very well have caused him to freak out a bit here. Again, did he clearly hold a part of his body that he didn't hit? Yes, he did, but I don't think that's a reason to award him the United States prize for achievements in newspaper and online journalism, literature, and musical composition.[2] Here's a look at what you might have missed while you were grinding.

Gif of the Week:

via assets.sbnation.com

After a disappointing first round exit, and a big pile of alleged locker room turmoil, The Clippers have decided not to bring back head coach Vinny Del Negro. They'll be linked to everyone on the market before they finally sign someone, including our very own Lionel Hollins. One non-coach they are already linked to is David West, a player they allegedly are going to make a strong push for in the offseason. It would make a lot of sense, and I'm sure Chris Paul would love playing with West again, but I'm not sure West would want to come off the bench, and unless they are going to play him at the 3 (which isn't too crazy) he would have to.

If you missed out on the NBA Draft Lottery, the Cavalier's walked away big winners after securing the number one overall pick for the second time in three years. As a not too secret Cavs enthusiast, I love this so much. Conventional wisdom says they'll be taking Nerlens Noel with the first pick, and that would give them pretty great size to go with their high scoring backcourt. If Kyrie Irving can stay healthy, and I realize at this point that's a pretty big if, but if he can, the Cavs are going to be a playoff team next year. Mark it down. The Wizards also got a boost as they vaulted into the third spot in this years draft. Washington, who much like Cleveland, has their backcourt already set, could be in a position to add Otto Porter. This might be a historically weak draft, but I think these two teams are in a position to get significantly better. Will they become instant title contenders? No. But they will have really good pieces to build a championship team around, which is the whole point of the lottery in the first place. Now if we could just get it to work for Charlotte...Speaking of the Bobcats, they've begun the process of taking over the Hornets name now that New Orleans is officially #PelicanNation.[3] Word on the street is, they are looking to adopt the old color scheme as well, which would make me about as happy as Muggsy Bogues and Larry Johnson combined.

The Mavericks have made it quite clear that they are going to go after Dwight Howard and/or Chris Paul, and they are going to go after them hard, and they've even made it known they are shopping their first round draft pick to help clear space to do so. As much as I'd hate to see either one of those guys in our division, Paul would be an incredible fit for that system, and not just because he's the only one of those two that isn't a total headcase. A lot of people think Rick Carlisle could contain Dwight and maybe even mature him a bit, but that's about like me going on a lovely picnic lunch with the little redheaded girl: it just ain't happening. Plus, if your Carlisle and Dirk, don't you just want to go ahead and take the guy who you know is a winner, and wants to win more than anything else?

Wild Cards

Remember growing up, sitting in your computer skills class, and waiting until the teacher passed so you could get on ‘Paint' and mess around? Seems like an eternity ago, doesn't it? Well don't look now, but it's making a comeback in the form of former major league baseball player Fernado Tatis. Tatis, who's always been a bit behind the curve, has recently discovered paint, and he just keeps cranking out the masterpieces.

As much as I hate that word, I'm going to be flying Swag Airlines exclusively from here on out.

The best thing about this is that it appears as if the Wendy's in Heaven is in the middle of the water, and Fernando has found a car that can float through it. Super impressive.

One Handicap parking spot is pretty classless, Fernando.

My favorite is one he drew for Jose Canseco of the former slugger boxing Shaquille O'Neal.

Sure he captioned it, but he didn't need to. Clearly we all knew what was going on there. Some people remember Tatis for once hitting two grand slams in the same inning, but luckily for him, he's reinventing himself as the master of Microsoft Paint, and for that, we thank him.

One other person who deserves a great deal of thanks is Greg Daniels, executive producer for The Office. The workplace comedy ended its run last week. It's really tough to get finales right, but The Office nailed every single thing. The way they wrapped up the stories for all the minor characters, then the major characters, all while making you laugh and cry in the same breath was truly phenomenal. Even the brief Michael Scott cameo was perfect. If you've yet to see it, get up right now, before you finish your work, before you do anything else, before you take another breath in this life, go home and watch it. I've seen it three times already, and it gets better with each viewing.

Earlier this week, Disney Channel made some headlines when they decided to pull an episode of a show called Jessie because it featured two jokes about a kid with a gluten allergy. As a semi-quasi professional comedian, I find this to be completely ridiculous. Look, I don't want to downplay people who have or are affected by celiac disease, I have a friend name Tony whose mother was very sick a few years back because of it, but jokes are jokes. When did we all forget how to laugh at ourselves? What's next? No more potty humor because some people are self conscious about the way their farts smell? Is that what its all coming too? Disney Channel should worry less about mildly offensive gluten-free jokes, and apologize for their real crimes, Dog with a Blog.

If that doesn't make you sick to your stomach, perhaps you'd be better off attending Houston Astros' games where a vendor was recently fired because he took his snow cones with him into the bathroom. I'm not sure how the meeting with his manager went down after that incident, but I like to think he said, "Listen, I don't know what the big deal is, I mean, I washed my hands and everything!" And I shouldn't knock him, because he very well may have, but even washing your hands isn't enough when you come out of a men's restroom trying to sell yellow snow cones. It's just not.

And finally, if you were looking for a reason to give up, Paris Hitlon has signed onto Lil Wayne's record label and will be putting out an album, an actual music album, later this summer. My brain can't really fathom this. Paris Hilton is going to put out an album, and she's doing it really quick too! For those of you who are wondering, my birthday is this summer, and I just know that someone will want to purchase this for me as a gag gift,[4] so here's a list of five other albums I'd rather have before this one.

A Very Nickelback Christmas
The Sultry Sounds of Starting Your Car with A Cat Sleeping on the Intake Manifold
73 Minutes of the word Moist with Liam Neeson.
The Soundtrack to Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
My Impressions of Roseanne Barr by Wolf Blitzer

Let's be honest, if Wolf Blitzer dropped a CD filled with nothing but his Roseanne Barr impersonations, it would be number one on iTunes by the end of the week. I'll apologize now for the inevitable nightmares you will all have featuring Liam Neeson repeating the word "moist" over and over again with different inflections in his voice.

Feel free to make this an ‘Off Day Week Off Topic Thread' and comment on whatever it is your heart desires, and as always, Go Grizz.

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[1] That's right. Not only did I call one fan base annoying, but I told my own I picked against our team. If you are curious as to what that sound is, it's the sound of my stock plummeting.

[2] This is in reference to Jalen Rose, who said Tony Allen deserved a Pulitzer Prize for his acting job, and at the same time let the world know he had no idea what a Pulitzer Prize was awarded for. Good hustle, Jalen!

[3] I'm not sure if anyone has actually used that hashtag yet, but it's only a matter of time. Every fan base thinks they're a nation nowadays.

[4] Gag in this sense not meaning joke, but to literally vomit.

Lionel Hollins: Latest Rumor Mill Fodder

2013-05-22T23:17:40Z

Lionel Hollins wins 56 games, a franchise best, in the regular season: No contract extension.

Hollins leads the Grizzlies past the Clippers with relative ease, winning the series 4-2 to advance to the Western Conference Semifinals: No contract extension.

Hollins and the Grizzlies march through the Semis, beating the Thunder 4-1 to advance farther than any team in franchise history, all the way to the Western Conference Finals: No contract extension.

All of this information is used to precede the question: What is good enough for the new ownership group to extend Hollins' contract? And for that matter, what would be considered a "reasonable" price to this new group to re-sign a coach that has already bested franchise records in both the regular season and playoffs?

The most ironic thing about all the Hollins contract hoopla is that the new ownership group was likely thinking that they might not want to spend so much to pay him what he was worth back before the Grizzlies made this playoff run. Instead of renewing Hollins contract towards the end of a phenomenal regular season, the ownership group opted to wait out the rest of the season, including the playoffs. Now, Hollins value is higher than it ever has been. Conrgatulations Robert Pera & Company. The price tag on a slightly used, helluva good coach just went up, and it's your fault that you will have to dole out more money to keep him. Just imagine Lionel Hollins sitting in his office at the Grizzlies complex after a long day's work, kicking his feet up on the desk, bending his arms and placing his hands behind his head, grinning from ear to ear, and saying "how do you like me now?" And who can blame the man? He has earned this contract extension.

The ownership group and Coach Hollins WERE on a level playing field when it came to contract negotiations. The word were cannot be stressed enough, as in past tense. Now, Hollins clearly has the leverage at this point.

All this leverage was gained the way anybody else gains leverage: They have other options. Coach Hollins is not short of those himself, as he has been linked to several teams that are looking for the next head coach to lead their respective franchises in the right direction. While Hollins might not have been contacted yet by several of the teams with coaching vacancies, that does not mean they won't come calling the second the Grizzlies season is over.

Below are the teams that are rumored to have Lionel Hollins at the top of their coaching wish list:

Milwaukee Bucks- The Bucks are at the top of the list because this might be the most enticing option for Hollins if he chooses to part ways with the Grizzlies. While other teams on this list might be closer to competing for a championship, NBA insiders have told the Racine Journal-Times out of Milwaukee that the Bucks have several talented young players that intrigue Hollins, particularly budding superstar Larry Sanders. Hollins could be salivating to develop one of the best young defenders in the league. Also, keep in mind Hollins had a brief stint as an assistant in Milwaukee in 2008, and it is not out of the realm of possibility that he built a decent relationship with management there. I don't know how big of a selling point this would be to Hollins, but his son is about to play his senior season on the basketball team at the University of Minnesota. Milwaukee is undoubtedly closer to his son than Memphis.

Los Angeles Clippers- Donald Sterling finally canned Vinny Del Negro, and it looks as if Hollins is on the top of the replacement list. The Clippers could be an interesting team for Hollins because they have a strong core, and they might not be too far from making a run to the Western Conference Finals. However, most of the players on that roster would leave Hollins pulling out what little hair he has left. The style of play does not fit Hollins coaching philosophy, and I'm not sure how well he would embrace being a coach in glamorous Los Angeles. Throw in the fact that the Clippers have one of the worst owners in sports and an extremely dysfunctional franchise, and Hollins to the Clips looks like a pretty big stretch.

Brooklyn Nets- With the Nets throwing around just about everybody's name, it's not surprising that Hollins has been added to their list. He would have the opportunity to coach one of the best point guards in the league over the last several years in Deron Williams, one of the elite centers in the league in Brook Lopez, a sharp shooter in Joe Johnson, and several other players Hollins would likely gel well with given his philosophy. However, the Nets have almost no cap space for the next five or so years, and they don't look to be close to competing for a championship with the group General Manager Billy King has assembled. Don't expect Hollins to leave for a job that would only get him mediocre playoff showings every year.

Before everybody panics, it is highly likely that a deal will get done with Coach Hollins after the season ends. I, for one, cannot imagine the outrage in Memphis among players and fans alike if Hollins does not receive that elusive contract extension. The new ownership group would be in deep water in Memphis fairly quickly if Hollins is not brought back. Although Pera and his group are mostly new when it comes to owning a sports franchise, he probably knows that he should not alienate the fans, especially this early in his regime as owner.

It is easy to dwell on the fact that the new ownership group blew their opportunity to sign Hollins when he had a cheaper price tag around his neck, but, for now, we just have to trust that the Grizzlies will do the right thing.

Get. It. Done.