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Grizz Grades: Leuer gets an A for "Aggressively yearning to foul out."

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The Memphis Grizzlies played a preseason game in Houston Thursday night. Grading the Grizz on this game is like your seventh grade teacher busting out the red pen for your obligatory "What I did this summer" back-to-school essay. Nevertheless.

Bill Baptist/Getty Images

Grizzlies 93 - Rockets 113

STARTERS

Mike Conley: 9 MIN | 2 PTS | 1-3 FG | -12

Incomplete. Left class early. 

Courtney Lee: 20 MIN | 8 PTS | 3-7 FG | -19

B. Hit some threes. Drove to the basket. Generally seemed to care about basketball.

Tayshaun Prince: 9 MIN | -12 | Uhhh

You know the days in college when your professor would give everyone class credit just for showing up? This was like that!

Zach Randolph: 8 MIN | 2 PTS | 1-5 FG | -6

50 (out of 100). That's also his jersey number! And the amount of seconds he cared about the game tonight.

Marc Gasol: 9 MIN | 6 PTS | 2-5 FG | 3 REB | -12

A for "Awake, at least."

BENCH

Jon Leuer: 15 MIN | 8 PTS | 2-4 FG | 4-6 FT | 5 REB | 3 AST | -12

A for "Aggressively yearning to foul out." Massively bodychecked a Rocket in the second quarter. Played with some spunk in the second half.

Kosta Koufos: 18 MIN | 2 PTS | 1-4 FG | 3 REB | 1 AST | 3 BLK | -9

C+. Did some alright things out there.

Tony Allen: 8 MIN | 1 TO | -2

Just kind of pretending this game didn't happen for Tony and instead imagining what he would be like taking the ACT. Would he get up and wander the room mid-test? Would he go hound the test proctor like she was Kevin Durant? Would he flex indiscriminately in the faces of helpless test-takers? He had to have taken the ACT once. Is there video?

Quincy Pondexter: 21 MIN | 9 PTS | 3-8 FG | 2 REB | 3 AST | 1 TO | -9

A fun thing about high school is when everyone comes back from summer break and you can be like, "Hey! Edward grew his hair out!" "Tyler got his braces off!" "Heather got a job at Abercrombie!" Well, Quincy changed his number to 8!

Beno Udrih: 17 MIN | 7 PTS | 2-4 FG | 2 REB | 1 AST | 1 STL | 3 TO | -7

B for "BENNNOOOOOO!!!" There's no way you can prove I haven't been yelling that since early May.

Nick Calathes: 14 MIN | 3 PTS | 0-1 FG | 3 AST | 1 TO | +10

ZERO. Calathes' suspension is like when you ask your neighbor for a pencil during a test but your teacher thinks you're cheating and gives you a zero. Oh and also you're bald.

Jarnell Stokes: 21 MIN | 12 PTS | 5-8 FG | 5 REB | 1 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | -5

#GNG. Got some rebounds, had a few nice putbacks, shoved Jeff Adrien, and got a tech (!!!). Was impressive in the second half.

Earl Clark: 20 MIN | 7 PTS | 3-10 FG | 6 REB | 3 AST | 2 STL | 1 BLK | 2 TO | +5

PCD. (Played, coach's decision.)

Jordan Adams: 16 MIN | 11 PTS | 2-7 FG | 7-8 FT | 5 REB | 2 AST | 2 STL | 2 TO | +2

S for "super excited about Jordan Adams." Also "steals!" Really smooth, charismatic, and athletic out there.

Luke Hancock: 9 MIN | 2 PTS | 1-1 FG | 1 AST | 3 STL | +6

Two gold stars!

Hassan Whiteside: 4 MIN | 0 PTS | 0-1 FG | 1 AST | 2 STL | 1 BLK | +2

Present!

Kalin Lucas: 11 MIN | 8 PTS | 3-5 FG | 1 REB | 1 AST | 1 TO | -11

Came in late and teacher didn't even notice him. Hit a nice jumper though!

Patrick Christopher: 10 MIN | 6 PTS | 2-4 FG | 1 REB | 1 TO | -10

Not listed here on the roll? Needs to go to the office to get that sorted out.

Vince Carter:

ENFJ. Carter took a Meyers-Briggs test on the bench during the third quarter. The results (courtesy of personalitypages.com): ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Michael Beasley: C for "China!"