You know how everyone always says, "A win is a win?" B.S. That one wasn't. The Grizzlies picked up the win, but we were all losers for having to witness what went on tonight at Time Warner Cable Arena.
It was disgusting, and not like accidentally drank expired milk disgusting. I'm talking finding out your wife is your biological sister disgusting, not stranger burping in your face disgusting.
When I was younger, I saw my grandmother naked, and this game is still the most disturbing thing I've ever laid eyes on.
At one point during the third quarter, I had to be physically restrained from gouging out my own eyes with a spoon.
That game sucked, I guess is the central theme of what I'm trying to say here.
Normally, I'd do a quarter by quarter break down, hitting on key points in the game and highlighting top scorers, but if you missed this game, I want to save you the pain from dealing with it, and if you were one of the poor unfortunate souls who watched it, I want to help you avoid ‘Nam-like flashbacks. Memphis won 71-69, and that's really all you need to know.
Game Notes from the Legend-wait for it-Diary
- Mike Conley and Kemba Walker were a combined 4-25 in the game.
- Memphis's final score was 71. That was lower than the third quarter total for 17 other teams tonight.
- Marc Gasol flashed a little bit of Max Deal Marc, but far too often we saw the guy who passes out of open looks to try and get his teammates involved. That's not always the worst thing in the world, but when the rest of your team is combining to shot 32% from the field, just take over the game, Big Fella.
- Al Jefferson dunked ALL OVER Marc Gasol at one point in the game, and then later on, had his nose busted by Zach Randolph. #StayWoke
- Second night of a back to back, short your hottest shooter on the team, and looking all kinds of dysfunctional on offense, Jordan Adams still couldn't get any minutes.
- Jon Leuer recorded his first bucket on the young season. He had a pretty nice pre-season, but now that it counts, he has been incredibly disappointing. Too much FarmersOnly.com and not enough Vanilla Thunder. Let's hope that changes soon.
- Vince Carter had nine points on 3-5 shooting from beyond the arc. He's waking up.
- Vince Carter bad pass, Cody Zeller steals. Jason Maxiell lost ball, Quincy Pondexter steals. Beno Udrih bad pass, Gary Neal steals. Jason Maxiell offensive foul turnover. Vince Carter traveling. This is a real play by play from the first few minutes of the second quarter.
- Charlotte only had six more made field goals than turnovers committed tonight (26, 20).
Even still, despite the absolute worst game in NBA history, the Grizzlies walked out with a victory, and apparently a win is still a win, no matter what. They move to 3-0 on the season and for the first time in franchise history. They get a much-needed day off before heading back home to take on Anthony Davis and the New Orleans Pelicans.
As for this game, I say we all just give it the Chuck Cunningham treatment, and let it go upstairs, fade away, and never be spoken of again. They play 81 other ones, after all, and they simply cannot be as miserable to watch as this.