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FIBA World Cup: Rudy, White, and Blue?

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Basketball competitions I would rather Rudy Gay not represent my country in.

Nathaniel S. Butler

Last weekend, the US men's national team added Rudy Gay to its roster.

The departures of Kevin Durant (personal reasons) and Paul George (injury) necessitated the Rudy comeback. Gay was a part of the 2010 US team that won the FIBA world championship, but his stock has slipped since--being traded twice and now playing basketball for the Sacramento Kings. Despite the statistical revolution that says, "Maybe Rudy Gay isn't so great at basketball!" the losses of Durant and George at least make this Rudy tryout (the roster is now at 16--he still has to make the twelve-man) understandable.

Do I want Rudy Gay playing for the USA at the FIBA World Cup?

No thanks. As Grizzlies fans, we've seen enough guarded, 18-foot missile-bricks from Rudy to know--we must spare our fellow Americans from having to see this.

Here are some other basketball competitions I would rather Rudy Gay not represent my country in:

  • Gotcha!
  • Around the World
  • Beat the Pro
  • H-O-R-S-E (when playing with Rudy you have to play R-U-D-Y--the one fewer letter will speed up the game and account for all the missed shots)
  • Defense
  • The Game Where Everyone On ESPN Wonders Who Will Take the Last Shot Without Rudy There
  • MTV's Rock N' Jock
  • Slamball
  • Slam poetry

Basketball competitions during which I have been proud to be from the same country as Rudy Gay:

That one Heat dunk though.