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Report Card: Eminem grades the Memphis Grizzlies vs. Brooklyn Nets

Eminem grades the Grizzlies' win over the Nets.

Grizzlies Report Card

Grizzlies 103 - Nets 92

Coach Dave Joerger:

Grade: A

"Not Afraid" by Eminem (NSFW)

Coach Joerger could have been afraid to play his former mentor and the guy he replaced, but it was nothing for him. He went into Brooklyn and outcoached Lionel Hollins in every possible way. Giving key guys like Conley and Gasol rest in these games is important, and Coach Joerger was able to do that against the Nets. I was surprised at how much Jeff Green actually got to play in his first game in a Grizz uniform (I think the score helped him get into the game more). It looked like Joerger was running him with several different lineups to try and make him comfortable or get him ready for what his role will be this season.


Mike Conley: 24 MINS | 6 PTS | 3-10 FGS | 2 ASTS | +17

Grade: B-

"Survival" by Eminem (NSFW)

Mike Conley injured his right ankle and left Brooklyn in a walking boot. We just needed him to survive that one so he can play another day.

Courtney Lee: 30 MINS | 18 PTS | 7-10 FGS | 3 ASTS | +23

Grade: A

"Berzerk" by Eminem (NSFW)

Courtney Lee went berzerk in the first half with Bojan Bogdanovic attempting to guard him. It was the most confident CLee has looked in quite some time. He was looking to shoot when he got the ball. Instead of the timid Clee that drifts in and out of the offense, we got a Clee that looked like he was playing for his starting job. It helped that he was wide open so much, but he has passed wide open shots up before.

Tony Allen: 25 MINS | 13 PTS | 6-9 FGS | 4 REBS | +20

Grade: A

"The Monster" by Eminem (NSFW)

If anyone on this Grizzlies team has basketball monsters inside of their head it's Tony Allen. He was able to fight off the "trick or treat" moniker for one night in a row. The defense he played on Joe Johnson was key in stalling the Brooklyn offense and he was cutting off the ball like a mad man. Gasol and Randolph hit him several times on his way to the basket and he was finishing around the rim!

Zach Randolph: 32 MINS | 20 PTS | 8-11 FGS | 14 REBS | +28

Grade: A

"Without Me" by Eminem (NSFW)



Z-Bo's back and he can't be stopped! He destroyed Mason Plumlee in the post with Kevin Garnett suspended. Maybe KG would have made a difference, but I doubt even he could do anything because Z-Bo was in the zone last night. Where would we be without Z-Bo? It's so nice to have him back on the block after missing time.

Marc Gasol: 31 MINS | 18 PTS | 6-11 FGS | 8 REBS | +21

Grade: A-

"Rap God" by Eminem (NSFW)

Marc Gasol is a basketball god and you can't convince me otherwise! He was without a doubt the best player on both ends of the floor in the game against Brooklyn. "Rap God" is Eminem just showing off how great of a lyricist and rapper he actually is. Gasol's game against Brooklyn was him showing off everything he can do on a basketball court. He was playing great defense on Brook Lopez, hit Tony Allen with an awesome pass, and was being aggressive on offense. I think the Nets lit a fire under Gasol because it feels like he dunked more in this game than ever before. He posterized poor Cory Jefferson and didn't even feel a little bad about it.


Jeff Green: 27 MINS | 10 PTS | 3-11 FGS | 3 REBS | -9

Grade: B

"Hi My Name Is" by Eminem (NSFW)

In Jeff Green's debut in a Memphis uniform he looked very comfortable for a guy playing his first game with a team. He was driving to the basket with more ease than the two guys he replaced. It looked effortless. "Hi My Name Is" was Eminem announcing himself to the world. This game against Brooklyn was Jeff Green's way of saying hi to Memphis, and showing just part of what he can do. I think we found out his jumpshot is not great, but he was getting open looks so maybe he will get more comfortable and start knocking them down.

Nick Calathes: 12 MINS | 5 PTS | 2-5 FGS| 4 STLS | -4

Grade: B

"Lose Yourself" by Eminem (NSFW)

Hey Vince, Calathes is coming for your backup spot. You better watch out. He isn't squandering the opportunities that Coach Joerger is giving him. Calathes was throwing pinpoint passes and wreaking havoc on defense against the Nets. His four steals came in a variety of ways just because he is such a sneaky guy. The opportunity to win a backup guard role is there. Now it's just about him consistently playing well so he can take it.

Kosta Koufos: 17 MINS | 6 PTS | 2-5 FGS | 6 REBS | -10

Grade: B

"Mockingbird" by Eminem (NSFW)

Koufos was in usual Koufos mode against the Nets. He anchored the defense for the second unit and enabled Marc to only play 31 minutes. "Mockingbird" is kind of about getting through tough times and keeping your head up. That's all that Koufos needs to do right now. I know he is probably frustrated about his playing time, but he will get his chance before the season is over.

Beno Udrih: 18 MINS | 6 PTS | 2-6 FGS| 3 REBS | -4

Grade: C+

"Guts Over Fear" by Eminem (NSFW)

Beno had the guts to relentlessly attack the basket, even if Mason Plumlee or Jerome Jordan was there. He wasn't scared, but he struggled to score consistently. His defense still is just not good, but he is trying his hardest so there's that.

Vince Carter: 14 MINS | 0 PTS| 0-4 FGS | 2 ASTS | -12

Grade: F

"No Love" by Eminem (NSFW)

Grizzly fans have no love for Vince Carter right now. He's reverted back to his old ways of taking every three he can put up in the time that Coach Joerger has him in the game. I don't know when/if he'll get his shot back, but the Grizzlies need him against teams that aren't based in Brooklyn. Grizzly fans aren't in love with Vince Carter right now, but something tells me he's going to come out of this better. We just have to be even more patient.

Jon Leuer: 4 MINS | -11

Grade: Not Eligible

Jordan Adams: 2 MINS | -2

Grade: Not Eligible

Jarnell Stokes: 2 MINS | 1 PT | 1 REB | -2

Grade: Not Eligible