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Report Card: Memphis Grizzlies vs. Denver Nuggets

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The Grizzlies won by 30. Let's get weird.

Grizzlies Report Card

Grizzlies 99 - Nuggets 69

Coach Dave Joerger:

Grade: A

I don't know how much coaching he actually had to do against the Nuggets. I'll give him an A for showing up and playing Jordan Adams the whole fourth quarter. I've always wondered what they do on the bench in a blowout like that. I know Hamed Haddadi used to eat hot dogs and skittles. I think I'd take a nap or start tweeting and get fined. Like, "Blowing out the Nuggets. They aren't very good! LOL!" then I'd post a selfie with Z-Bo. Actually, how has TA not gotten in trouble for sneaking back to the locker room and tweeting a whole bunch of stuff yet? I feel like that's something he'd do.

Starters

Beno Udrih: 23 MINS | 11 PTS | 5-10 FGS | 3 ASTS | +20

Grade: B+

It's so nice to have Beno to spell Mike Conley when he needs it. Beno came out and helped set the tone for the Grizzlies. He was aggressive like a mama bear defending her young. The three point shot is starting to fall for Beno. Maybe he's taking better shots now than he was taking at the beginning of the season. Something I've learned since Beno took Conley's place in the starting lineup; Beno jokes will never not be hilarious. "Beno more missed shots" or "Beno more of that". There are like a million of them, but those are the only two I can think of right now.

Courtney Lee: 24 MINS | 11 PTS | 5-10 FGS | 2 REBS | +18

Grade: B

Courtney Lee spaced the floor and played defense. He also busted out some pretty awesome dance moves, which made everyone on the bench freak out. Pairing L33zus with friend and former teammate Jeff Green in the starting lineup is working out for the moment.

Jeff Green: 26 MINS | 13 PTS | 4-9 FGS | 2 REBS | +23

Grade: B

Since the two teams met before the game and decided nobody should hit threes, I commend Jeff for hitting two. His defense on Wilson Chandler was a little spotty, but overall Jeffy had a good game against he guy many people would rather have in a Grizz uniform. Green is slowly growing on me, but the defense and rebounding have to get better.

Zach Randolph: 30 MINS | 15 PTS | 6-14 FGS | 17 REBS | +22

Grade: A

I have no idea whether Z-Bo can keep this level of scoring up, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Randolph owned Kenneth Faried. It wasn't even a contest. If it was, Kenneth would owe Z-Bo all of his money and a stuffed animal or something. I want him to just show up to the All-Star game and play. Who is going to stop him? I would be willing to bet nobody is getting in his way.

Marc Gasol: 25 MINS | 10 PTS | 4-8 FGS | 7 REBS | +14

Grade: A-

Marc had one mission tonight: stop Jusuf Nurkic at all costs. He put his DPOY hat back on for a game and wrecked the Nuggets. It was his best Dikembe Mutumbo impersonation.

(video from Vine user Fletch)

Bench

Vince Carter: 7 MINS | 4 PTS| 1-4 FGS | 2 REBS | +1

Grade: Not Eligible

I put myself in charge of morale (Ed. Note: Nice. -KY) here at GBB so I am taking the positive route with Vince Carter's injury.

HE'S GOING TO BE OK.

HE'S GOING TO BE OK.

HE'S GOING TO BE OK.

EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.

EVERYONE JUST NEEDS TO GET AHOLD OF THEMSELVES

This could be a blessing in disguise. Let him rest and get 100% healthy so we can see VC in a Grizz uniform in the playoffs. Only positive thoughts.

Kosta Koufos: 23 MINS | 6 PTS | 3-5 FGS | 7 REBS| +17

Grade: A

Kosta Koufos looks upon the other team with hate in his heart and a desire to kill in his eyes. He looks upon his former teammates as enemies on the battlefield. The desire to take them down at all costs fills him so he does just that. Cold nights in an Eastern European prison have prepared him for nights like this. There, the ball was made with a chunk of rubber from a man named Olaf's shoes and rubber bands. He knew that it was necessary to bury the Nuggets, his former team, so he did it. They disrespected him and his team the last time they played. When he was done and walking off the court, he looked back at the destruction he'd wrought, and he smiled.

Tony Allen: 21 MINS | 8 PTS | 3-9 FGS | 9 REBS | +13

Grade: B

I don't know how Tony Allen hasn't thrown his back out during an attempt to draw a foul on a layup. I've never seen someone contort their body in such manners before. It's incredible to watch. The Nuggets couldn't hit the ocean from the pier so TA wasn't really needed in this game. He tried to take over on offense in the fourth quarter, and that didn't go over well. I like the new role he is in, but Coach Joerger has to avoid playing him in lineups that will drag the offfense down like he did in the second quarter. It hasn't been a problem as of late, but if it becomes one, TA should move back into the starting lineup.

Nick Calathes: 25 MINS | 11 PTS | 5-10 FGS| 5 ASTS | +5

Grade: B

It's always nice when your third string point guard is almost as good as the second string. The first string can miss time and it's not a huge deal. Memphis is to point guards as Ohio State is to quarterbacks. Calathes has gotten some more confidence with the increased playing time, and it's showing. His shot attempts are increasing and starting to fall. HIs chemistry with Jon Leuer is yielding results. Hopefully we get some alley oops soon.

Jon Leuer: 18 MINS | 6 PTS | 2-5 FGS| 6 REBS| +8

Grade: B

Jonny Basketball is back in the rotation. Let's see how long it lasts this time. I was watching him go up against former backup power forward Darrell Arthur (whose game Jonny's has a striking similarity to), and all I could think of was the great times we had with DA. It gave me the sads. I went back and watched some DA highlights. I was spiraling into an existential depression that I didn't think could be cured. Then Jonny Dunkface hit a couple shots and I was all good.

Jordan Adams: 12 MIN | 0 PTS | 0-3 FGS | 2 REBS | +5

Grade: Incomplete

I am irritated. Jordan Adams played the whole fourth quarter, but barely touched the ball! Why you ask? BECAUSE TONY ALLEN DECIDED HE WANTED TO SHOOT AND DRIBBLE THE BALL THE WHOLE TIME. OH I'M NOT DONE. THEN NICK CALATHES DECIDED HE WAS JASON KIDD. Jordan Adams should have shot like 20 times in 12 minutes. It would have been amazing. I think I would have died of happiness right then and there.

Tyrus Thomas: 5 MINS | 4 PTS | 1-1 FGS| 1 AST | +0

Grade: Not Eligible

DNPs

Mike Conley: DNP various maladies