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Report Card/Player Rankings: Grizzlies at Nuggets

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Losses are no fun/And the Nuggets really suck/Haiku from the depths

Well...that went poorly didn't it.  So in response to a thoroughly depressing game, and in honor of Kevin Lipe, who is waaaaaay better at this than me, here are some haikus from the depths of my soul.

You should probably listen to this while reading:

Grizzlies Report Card

Grizzlies 85 - Nuggets 114

Coach Dave Joerger:

Grade B-

Two technical fouls

Bro, I would want to go too

Express yourself, Dave

Coach Elston Turner

Grade: B

Replacing DJ

It's time to show out man

Coach of dumpster fire

Starters

Mike Conley: 26 MINS | 8 PTS | 4-11 FGS | 5 ASTS |-13

Grade: D+

Tough night for Conley

Back to back games really suck

Ty Lawson All-Star?

Courtney Lee: 24 MINS | 7 PTS | 3-5 FGS | 1-2 3GA |-11

Grade D

Why don't you shoot 3's?

Why don't you freaking shoot 3's?

WHY DON'T YOU SHOOT 3'S????

Tough night Courtney Lee

AA is an assassin

Or have you not heard?

Tony Allen: 23  MINS | 6 PTS |  3 STLS  |-4

Grade: D+

Love what you do

But only have one request

Is there layup school?

Jon Leuer: 20 MINS | 10 PTS | 5-8 FGS| 7 REBS|-7

Grade F+

Maybe you starting

Was kind of a mistake. Not

The worst idea though

Marc Gasol: 28 MINS | 18 PTS | 7-15 FGS | 5 REBS | -12

Grade D

Tried to get kicked out

Tussled with a guy named Jusuf

Just punch him next time

Bench

Quincy Pondexter: 16 MINS | 0 PTS | 0-2 FGS | 0 ASTS | -5

Grade Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Q Q Q Q Q

Q Q Q Q Q Q Q

Q Q Q (shakes head)

Vince Carter: 16 MINS | 5 PTS| 2-8 FGS | 0-4 3PA | 0 ASTS | -22

Grade: D+

Jacking up triples

Keep it under thirty feet

Got to murk Nurk though

Kosta Koufos: 26 MINS | 6  PTS | 3-4 FGS | 9 REBS| -23

Grade D-

My wife watched you play

Says that you are made of wood

That is all I got

Nick Calathes: 23 MINS | 4 PTS | 2-9 FGS | 5 ASTS | 1 BLKS | -16

Grade D-

Beno out tonight

Now you get your chance to shine

Nicky Bucketless

Tayshaun Prince: 19 MINS | 2 PTS | 1-7 FGS | 3 REBS | 0 ASTS |-27

Grade D-

Haikus can be hard

And they don't always make sense

Refrigerator

Jarnell Stokes: 17 MINS | 7 PTS | 2-5 FGS| 3 REBS | -7

Grade C

Worked by Manimal

But really did hold his own

Come back soon ZBo

Jordan Adams: 7 MINS | 12 PTS | 5-6 FGS | 1-1 3PA | +2

Grade: B-

Garbage time minutes

Bloggers all holding their breaths

Made all your dads proud

Zach Randolph: DNP Injured

Beno Udrih: DNP Injured

Performance Rankings vs. Nuggets