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Kanye West Grades The Grizzlies: Memphis Grizzlies vs. Portland Trail Blazers

Yeezy grades the Grizzlies.

Grizzlies Report Card

Grizzlies 97 - Trail Blazers 82

Coach Dave Joerger:

Grade: B+

"Heartless" by Kanye West (NSFW)

How could you be so Heartless, Coach Joerger? Deploying Tony Allen on Allen Crabbe so he could just ignore Crabbe and roam on LaMarcus Aldridge was downright mean. Playing your starting lineup until the end of the game was unnecessary for so many reasons.

Starters

Mike Conley: 29 MINS | 18 PTS | 6-11 FGS | 6 ASTS | +6

Grade: A

"Diamonds From Sierra Leone" by Kanye West (NSFW)

I'm really hoping that during one of these games Mike Conley is going to stand up and say "Yo where Dame at?" The Grizzlies guard dominated Damian Lillard once again Monday night. He was streaking into the lane and finishing like someone who didn't say that he feels like he's walking on a golfball. When Conley is hitting threes it opens up the offense for him and the rest of the team. He spread the floor which helped him rack up six assists and get into the lane. The Grizzlies defense was spectacular, but Mike Conley did an especially good job on Lillard, who shot 5-16 from the field.

Courtney Lee: 33 MINS | 18 PTS | 8-11 FGS | 2 REBS | +3

Grade: A+

"Amazing" by Kanye West (NSFW)

Courtney Lee was so amazing against the Blazers in Game 2. Leezus has completely put his troubles from a month ago behind him. He was the reason the Grizzlies were able to keep the lead throughout the game. He couldn't miss. It was the performance of his playoff career and no matter what you can't take that from him. He's such a problem for the Blazers, who are without Arron Afflalo, because it seems they completely forget that he's on the court sometimes. Nicolas Batum was scrambling to cover a wide open Leezus a lot more than he should have to. The amazing performance won't be easily forgotten.

Tony Allen: 36 MINS | 4 PTS | 2-4 FGS | 9 REBS | +7

Grade: A

"Otis" by Kanye West (NSFW)

All I could think of was TA singing "I guess I got my swagger back" all game. It looks like the hamstring injury that has hampered the Grindfather in the past few weeks is now an afterthought. Allen was streaking around the court affecting every shot he could possibly get near. He was supposed to be guarding Allen Crabbe, but after destroying Crabbe the few times he had the ball, it looked like the young Blazers wing wanted no part of the game TA was playing.

Zach Randolph: 33 MINS | 10 PTS | 5-16 FGS | 10 REBS | +5

Grade: B+

"Stronger" by Kanye West (NSFW)

ZACH RANDOLPH IS THE STRONGEST HUMAN ON THE FLOOR AND HE WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT, LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE. ZBo had a bad game shooting the ball, but he was relentless on the boards and played about as hard as he could on defense. Every time you saw ZBo, he had hands or a body on LMA. I feel bad for the Blazers forward because there is no way he doesn't feel like he got hit by a mac truck last night.  (Ed. Note: A MacBo50 truck?)

Marc Gasol: 35 MINS | 15 PTS | 4-15 FGS | 7 REBS | 5 ASTS | +3

Grade: B+

"Power" by Kanye West (NSFW)

Marc Gasol's power isn't just in his scoring ability, which was not on display in Game 2. He couldn't hit the ocean from a pier and it was oh so frustrating to watch. He wasn't scoring, but it's always incredible to see how much power he has in other parts of the game. Since he wasn't hitting his shots, he started distributing the ball, and it threw the Blazers defense completely out of whack. They were scrambling constantly. The Grizzlies center was all over the place on defense. He was perfectly rotating and playing great help defense.

Bench

Beno Udrih: 19 MIN | 10 PTS | 4-9 FGS | 1 AST | +9

Grade: A-

You Can't Tell Me Nothin" by Kanye West (NSFW)

Everyone said Beno wasn't going to play as well as he did in Game 1. He turned around and started the game on fire. An ankle injury slowed the Grizzlies' backup point guard, but he was still magnificent in Game 2. You can't tell Beno nothin.

Jeff Green: 27 MINS | 9 PTS | 4-13 FGS | 5 REBS | +20

Grade: B

"Runaway" by Kanye West (NSFW)

I ran out of ideas so just enjoy my favorite Kanye song. Jeff had a weird Game 2. He did not shoot the ball well at all, but found other ways to be effective. He played some great defense (I'm as shocked as you) and rebounded pretty well.

Vince Carter: 14 MINS | 9 PTS| 3-6 FGS | 4 REBS | +12

Grade: B

"All Of The Lights" by Kanye West (NSFW. SEIZURE RISK. SERIOUSLY THIS WILL GIVE YOU A SEIZURE. NO JOKE)

Vince saw all of the lights and woke up from his coma. He gets the Mike Miller "Run from three-point line to three-point line and relentlessly throw your old body around like a crazy person" award.

Kosta Koufos: 13 MINS | 4 PTS | 2-4 FGS | 2 REBS| +9 (NSFW)

Grade: B+

"The Good Life" by Kanye West

Kosta goes into the game, does everything right, and heads back to the bench where he imagines the money piling up this summer. This was the usual Kosta game. He played his butt off in every way he could and helped the second unit stabilize the game a bit in the second quarter.

Nick Calathes: 1 MINS | 1 PF | +1 (NSFW)

Grade: Not Eligible

"FourFive Seconds" by Kanye West

I forgot he played until I looked at the box score. It looks like he was only in there for FourFive seconds.

DNPs

Jordan Adams:: DNP Coach's Decision

JaMychal Green: DNP Coach's Decision

Jon Leuer: DNP Coach’s Decision