In the words of Dashboard Confessional…so this is odd.
Yesterday was supposed to be the debut of part two of GBB Vs. The Trade Machine: Trading Courtney Lee. The Grizzlies beat us to it, sending Lee to Charlotte for P.J. Hairston of the Hornets, Chris Andersen of the Miami Heat, and like fifty second round picks. And there was some genius in there.
So if you want to check out part one about trading Jeff Green, Click here.
And if you want to read part two, build a time machine, go back to Tuesday, and stop the Grizzlies front office, Terminator style if you want.
But today, we have something entirely more important to consider.
We are going to trade erryone else.
With us today is GBB staff Joe Mullinax, Chip Williams, Wes George, Corban Ford, and yours truly, along with founding editor of All Heart in Hoop City Aimee Stiegemeyer, and the incomparable GBB Commenter.
Trade someone from the Core Four
Chip Williams- This is the part of the program where Chip just has too much fun with the trade machine. The Grizz go into full blow-it-up mode, the Bucks get their point guard and Brooklyn rolls the dice on anything that looks like a future asset.
Wes George- Look, I don't like it either.
Corban Ford- With this trade, the Grindfather and two other members of the Grizzlies would be heading to the Big Apple in exchange for an offensively gifted big man in Brook Lopez and a very promising young defender in Hollis-Jefferson. Lopez would be locked up for 3 years and his contract would expire before he turned 30, while the Grizzlies would have Mr. Hollis-Jefferson signed in on a multi-year deal while they evaluate his potential and what he brings to the team. Unfortunately, there is no way a team gives away their centerpiece and a young promising player for three pieces all either at the end of their primes are on their way to it, even a team as misguided as the Brooklyn Nets.
Matty B- Ugh…this one stings. I don’t think they should trade Tony Allen. I don’t think they should trade for Kevin Martin. I fuggin’ hate Kevin Martin. But hear me out.
You lose a lot of defense with the departure of the Grindfather. But Matt Barnes can play a little defense and can slide right into the starting three at this point. While you do lose defense, you gain a few less Tony Allen things…like making layups.
With the other trades the Grizzlies have made, someone has to shoot the ball. And Kevin Martin has proven that he can do that (over 5,700 three point attempts in his eleven year career). Now…you do lose some defense. Ok…a lot of defense. But where on earth would the Grizzlies get a guy who shoots a good percentage, plays defense, and I don’t totally hate him.
GBB Commenter- Your probably going, "Why would you trade MIKE CONLEY for a guy whose name translates to "shit" in slang and a rookie?" Well, the fact is, this is a perfect deal for the Griz. The Sixers were 1-30 when they got Ish Smith. Since they got him, they have been 7-15. That's a improvement in winning of 700%, which basically means Ish Smith might even be the NBA MVP. In addition, your also getting Jahlil Okafor, a rookie whose going to be super cheap and also has that fighting instinct that Griz fans really crave in there players.
Last task...trade one of the remaining players
Joe Mullinax- VINSANITY RETURNS! I love what Vince brings to Memphis, but a little part of me wants him to finish his run in Toronto. Jeff adds another dimension to the Raptors as a combo forward, while Vince comes in ready for a playoff run and rejuvenated by being home. The Grizzlies do this deal because these are two decent rotation players moving forward on good contracts next season in Patterson's case and beyond for Ross. For the literal cost financially of close to Jeff's value this season they will have two players next season.
Chip- Fantasy trade just because I'd do anything to get T.J. Warren in a Grizz uniform.
Wes- The disappointing artists-formerly-known-as-the-Bullets get a proven wing for their playoff push, and the Grizzlies get a young, cheap prospect in Oubre who could someday develop into a rotation piece.
Yeah, I’m still feeling salty about this Courtney Lee being shipped off business that just happened. For Chris Andersen, PJ Hairston, and some draft picks? Nah, hard pass on that.
I know, assets, picks, blahblahblah.
Have you seen what the Grizzlies do with draft picks? Allow me to refresh your memory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memphis_Grizzlies_draft_history
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS
Sorry if I can’t get excited about *maybe* picking up someone who *might* be good, to sit on the bench or in the D-League until we waive him. Rinse and repeat. Been there, done that, didn’t even get a crappy t-shirt.
So with that, I’ll be sending Birdman anywhere but here. All by his lonesome, since he can’t be traded with any other players.
I’m sure that Chris Andersen would make a lovely addition to the…thing they have going on in Sacramento right now. If nothing else, the fights between him and DeMarcus Cousins would be legendary.
He’s not had a spectacular year, but Ben McLemore has pretty consistently been a thorn in the Grizzlies side. We didn’t exactly do ourselves any favors in the shooting department this week.
I think I remember Quincy Acy doing something alright once or twice for the Knicks last year, and he makes the money part work. As an aside, does *anyone* have a good year after moving to the Kings, anyone not named Rajon Rondo? Not this year apparently.
There isn’t a chance in hell this trade would ever happen, not even if Phil Jackson drank everything in Greg Popovitch’s wine cellar first.
See, I put it right there at the top, in bold letters and everything. Didn’t even have to read past the first sentence. You’re welcome!
I don’t feel like I need to explain anything for this one. If you know all the reasons this would be the dumbest, most unlikely thing ever, then you also know why it would be spectacularly awesome.
But all that fun stuff Kristaps Porzingis has been doing in New York this year…wouldn’t it be nice?
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true.
And finally, this will either make you happy or make your head explode:
Tayshaun Prince returning to Memphis would make a lot of people happy.
Happy fans maybe stop yelling to trade Jeff Green approximately every 47 seconds
I get to use my favorite Photoshop creation again. Errrbody wins!*
Shabazz Muhammad dropped 25 on the Grizzlies a few weeks ago.
Zach LaVine forever endeared himself to me with his Space Jam routine in the dunk contest last year, and he’s under 30. That’s really kind of enough at this point.
*Except Minnesota, obviously.
Matty B- I'm not proud, but if the Cavs are just gonna give K-Love away...
GBB Commenter- This is going to hurt some of those Jordan Adams truthers out there, but this trade is a STEAL. Jordan Adams is a unknown entity. Based on David Joerger he might not even actually exist at all. Plus your getting Matthew Dellavedova who proved to the nation that he is one of the grittiest, grindiest players in the league last year in the finals. Fun Fact: Dellavedova is from Austrailia which is a continent that would kill 99% of the NBA with its spiders, so if theres anyone who knows about surviving its Dellavedova.
Vote on which trade was your favorite below. Enjoy trade deadline day!