I've listened to Eminem for a solid hour. I'm ready for this game to start. Memphis Grizzlies vs. history. Should be interesting and not at all awful. Let's go!
-- ESPN is showing the tribute the Lakers are doing for Kobe Bryant's last game. It is fun, uncomfortable, happy, and weird. Kobe laughed when he saw Pau Gasol. KOBE AND PAU TO MEMPHIS CONFIRMED.
-- Birdman-Grizzila is starting. When the historians write about the day the Grizzlies prevented history he should be heavily featured with 456 year old Vince Carter.
-- Draymond starts out with a missed three, but on the next time down got fouled after an offensive rebound around two Grizzlies.
-- Oh...ZBo is feeling it early. He has four points. You can tell he wants this one. Big guy deserves it after strapping this team to his back and carrying them through the season like Mad Max carried all those people in that tankard across the desert. They'd totally die without Max, but he will not let it happen.
-- The Grizzlies are trying to match threes with the Warriors which is like trying to match laser beams with the Death Star. You aren't Luke Skywalker, Jordan Farmar.
-- VINCE THREEEEEEEEE! Going to need more of that. Oh man...J. Cole just came on my headphones. I have to change it before my eardrums explode into 1,000 pieces. Why does he do this to people? He should be arrested.
-- ZBo makes it 14-12 after a running hook on Bogut, but Draymond ties it back up right away. He just gets down the floor so much faster than the rest of the Grizzlies as they are all old or barely allowed to run.
-- This pace is unsustainable for the Grizzlies. Nobody in the league can run with this team, but this Memphis team ESPECIALLY can't run with them. And there it is. Two straight Warriors baskets and a Joerger timeout.
-- The Hoopers commercials have been perfectly casted. Kevin Love plays an awkward teenager who just wants to hit puberty so well. I need more rapping baby Dame and LoveTrain in my life. Would lowkey listen to their mixtape then pretend to all my friends that I didn't.
-- Steph Curry just made a three from like 9 feet behind the three-point line.
OH MAN HE JUST DID IT AGAIN WITH A DUDE IN HIS FACE. HE'S NOT HUMAN.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD HE WENT BEHIND THE BACK AND HIT A THIRD ONE IN A ROW. WHAT IN THE WILD WILD WEST IS HAPPENING.
Grizzlies timeout down 11.
-- Tweetdeck is down. I don't think I can accurately tell you how big of a bummer that is. I love watching Twitter freak out about Curry doing crazy stuff. It's half of the fun. Watching people act like it's the first time they've seen him do something insane is just fun. Like, this dude just pulled up from almost half court as his heat check. I need to see what people say about that.
-- A Grizzlies three-on-two break just ended with the ball out of bounds because Zach Randolph had what I'm assuming is a conniption fit and threw the ball straight up in the air. That is not the suggested course of action.
-- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT WANT TO RUN THROUGH A WALL AFTER THIS DWAYNE JOHNSON FORD COMMERCIAL. I'M GOING TO ROLL SOME TIRES AROUND AND HOLD THEM ON MY ARMS TILL I LOOK LIKE THE ROCK.
-- The lead is at 12 points. The only fun I am having is watching Xavier Mun.....Curry just hit another three.
-- Ezeli with a putback makes the lead 37-23 with .9 left. And the first quarter is over with the Warriors up 14. I guess it's cool that the Warriors will have history wrapped up by halftime.
-- LOL the Grizzlies hit a shot! Now would be a great time for Xavier Munford to show that he's really Steph Curry in a mask or something. BREAKOUT TIME.
-- All of these children in the crowd are wearing Warriors gear. They are going to be so soft. They'll know nothing of failure. Just winning championships and constant fun. I weep for the next generation.
-- That wasn't a serious paragraph. I would kill to be like seven and chilling in Oracle, eating an ice cream cone in a brand new Steph jersey.
-- Leandro Barbosa's revival is cool, but the fact that he's getting passes from Shaun Livingston is even cooler. Now I need Raja Bell to make a comeback. The Grizzlies still haven't scored 30 points, and Lance is doing that thing where he plays like a person who has never touched a basketball before.
-- Curry is chewing on the skin around his thumb nail. I think that should disqualify him from any and all future GOAT discussions.
-- Marreese Speights spells his name weird. He just also hit a stepback jumper. I miss him and Daunte Cunningham. Those were fun times.
-- THIS MAGIC MOMENT IS ON TOMORROW AND I SWEAR IF ANYONE RUINS IT FOR ME I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN. I have to go win a bunch of awards at a journalism banquet because I am actually a #serious #journalist sometimes.
(Editor's note: photos or it's so not true about you being a #journalist -mb)
-- It's about that time where I can confidently declare P.J. Hairston is bad at basketball, and I would like Leezus back please. At least when Speights was gunning for the Grizzlies he'd have some games where he hit shots. Hairston strikes out more than I do when I'm at Silky's on a Saturday night.
-- Lance just went behind the back to Green for an and-1. The lead is down to 13 with 6:30 left in the half.
-- Klay Thompson three because the Grizzlies would like to continue their longstanding tradition of never picking someone up in transition.
-- Mo just threw an alley down, which Thompson followed up with a three. I think the Warriors are probably going to win. Thompson just did the splits then hit a three. That's not fair. I'm calling cheating.
-- The Grizzlies lost Curry in transition and he hit a wide open three. HOW DO YOU LOSE THE BEST THREE-POINT SHOOTER IN TRANSITION. A GRIZZLY SHOULD BE PRETTY MUCH RIDING ON HIS BACK.
-- I am one of the 18 people excited for Keanu. No way Key and Peele make a bad movie. Going to see it the day it comes out. Don't @ me.
-- The Grizzlies struggle to make points. The Warriors struggle to not swish every three they put up. There's your difference. Warriors up 67-48 with 1:15 left.
-- This is so depressing and cool at the same time.
-- Halftime: The Grizzlies are trailing 64-44. Steph has 25 points. I'm calling game. Congrats to the Warriors! I wanted the Grizzlies to win, but making history like this is incredible. I didn't think it would ever happen and doubt this will be topped for a long time. Will update with cool happenings/interesting takes.
-- Steph just hit his 400th three pointer then put the entire Memphis frontline on skates then hit a contested layup over Birdman-Grizzilla. It's like someone exported their 99 overall 2k MyPlayer into real life.
-- They just did the wave in Oracle......Ban Warrior fans.
-- All of them are bad.
I have the worst tweet of all-time in my drafts right now— Austin Reynolds (@ReynoldsRant) April 14, 2016
-- That will do it. The Grizzlies lose 125-104. THE WARRIORS HAVE WON 73 GAMES. WHAT A CRAZY ACCOMPLISHMENT!!! CONGRATS TO THEM, THEIR FANS, STEVE KERR, THEIR OWNERS, AND BARON DAVIS CUZ HE'S DOPE.