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Why Reggie Miller Sucks

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It's about time someone put this on paper...or at least the internets

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Sometimes you have had a bad season.

Sometimes injuries have killed the fun in something that you have enjoyed.

Sometimes your favorite team runs into the flying death machine that will annihilate it.

It can crush your soul and spirit and leave a wound that can only be healed by a peaceful off season and a different hobby for a few months.

We know this is coming for the Grizz.

But that doesn't mean you gotta put salt in our wound, Reggie Miller.

This morning on The Dan Patrick Show, Reggie Miller was asked whether the studio guys from TNT could beat any team in the NBA.

His answer:

I mean seriously....what the f#@%?

I'm not even going to address the illogical stance of five to ten guys who are on TV being able to hang with a group of elite athletes.  I guarantee you none of them can run as well as Vince Carter does, and Vince can't run.

I'm not going to mention that Shaq looks like he weighs 500 pounds.

I'm not going to mention that Charles Barkley couldn't run to do another Weight Watchers commercial.

I'm not even going to mention that if I had to draft a television broadcaster to be on my team, my first overall pick would be Doris Burke followed by Brevin Knight fresh off the golf course.

This statement is completely ludicrous.  Duh.

Here's the insulting part.

That it came from Reggie Miller.

Reggie Miller allegedly called the Grizz/Spurs game for TNT last night, and I say allegedly because I'd rather go willfully into a wood chipper than hear what most national broadcasters have to say about this team.  And after watching the Grizzlies last night, and possibly for the first time all season, he of infinite wisdom decided that a group of TV stars and Kobe could beat the Grizzlies.

Here's the list of things Reggie Miller knows about Memphis:

1) Some guys are hurt

2) Rudy Gay used to play here

3) Memphis has Ribs

That's it...that's the list.

Look...we know the score with this team.  They are a mismatched group of guys who haven't played together long taking on a well oiled machine.  Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, and Tim Duncan have won 120 playoff games together.  This team has played together for about 20 games.  Four out of five guys that started last night not even be on the roster next year.  Three of them might not even be in the league.

And yet...this team is the one to kick while it's down.  The one that's having to play rookies, retreads, and D-League All-Stars in a playoff game.  You could have picked on the heartless Rockets, and give-out Mavericks, or even everybody's darlings the Hornets.  '

This is worse than saying Mike Conley's not coming back next season because of three words in one terrible article.  This is low even by click bait standards.

But turn about is fair play.

Reggie Miller sucks and here's why:

- If there were a draft of television commentators, you would be DFL, even behind the homerest of the homer announcers, because at least they have a marketable skill.

- Even Jalen Rose thinks you're annoying

- Even Jordan Farmar thinks you have big ears.

- Number of rings on the Grizzlies: two.  Number of rings for poor old Reggie: zero

- You are still best known for your feud with Spike Lee.  Neither of you have anything since the 90's.

- To your bosses at TNT: why?  You have so many great and talented guys on your staff.  David Aldridge is like my favoritest NBA guy out there.  Craig Sager is amazing.  Kevin Harlan is super unique.  Chris Webber is great.  Inside the NBA on Thursdays is the best thing going since The Basketball Jones moved to NBATV.   And yet...you trot this dude out night after night...week after week.  Why?

- Reggie Miller is like John Madden if Madden didn't know anything about football and spoke English as a second language.

- I went to Twitter for some help with my "Why Reggie Miller sucks" list:

And finally....the winner and undisputed champion....

It's one thing to have a bad opinion.  It's another to kick a team while it's down.  And Reggie did that.  And this is another of the myriad of reasons why Reggie Miller sucks.

via GIPHY