I just woke up for a nap and I'm ready for some basketball. This is the first game I've written about since the departure of my absolute favorite basketball player Jeff Green. I'm excited and I have a bunch of lost time to make up for. It's going to be a wild ride. Better buckle up.
-- There are more Golden State Warrior fans at the game than actual Memphis Grizzlies fans, which is sad, but not surprising. Memphis has always been a city full of front-runners. There are so many brand new Warrior shirseys in the FedExForum you may be blinded by the shine from all of the not yet hit the washing machine yellow.
You would think that more Grizzly fans would want to see the Grizzlies totally kill the Warriors chances at setting the record for most wins in a season because they are obviously going to win this game.
-- Oh no they showed the Memphis starting lineup. My eyes will never recover. Jordan Farmar is still a thing that is consistently happening. This stings just because Briante Weber got a three-year deal from the Miami Heat today. Also, Farmar may have the biggest ears of any basketball player since a 22 year old Will Smith dominated the Bel-Air high school leagues in the 90's.
--Draymond just started the game with a three. I just want to leave this place now. Oh wait, Lance Stephenson for three. That's a fun sight
-- ZBo hits the first two point shot either side has taken. I don't know why the Grizzlies have decided they can match the best three-point shooting team ever three for three, but it's an incredibly ballsy move.
-- THE ROCK IS IN A FORD COMMERCIAL. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO BUY A FORD. HE DIDN'T EVEN TALK IT DOESN'T MATTER. WHAT AN INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING. HE'S THE ONLY PERSON I ACTUALLY ENJOY FOLLOWING ON INSTAGRAM. I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM SO WE CAN GO HANGOUT OUT WITH TYRESE AND LETTY THEN WE CAN ALL DRIVE OUR REALLY FAST CARS WAIT I'M GETTING DUSTED BECAUSE I BOUGHT A FORD. Bummer.
-- Festus Ezeli just had an and-1. I've love him ever since I heard that Mark Jackson made him cry that one time. Nobody makes Festus cry and gets away with it. That's almost as egregious as wasting several good Curry years.
-- Jeff Van Gundy is talking about not resting guys so I'm turning him off and turning Chance the Rapper on. Vince Carter hit a jumper then did stuff in the post. Coincidence? I think not. Chance makes everything and everyone better.
-- Klay Thompson looks like Squidward's house. He's a great basketball player despite this fact. How? I'm not quite sure. It's a mystery. Head coach Dave Joerger just ran out on the court and called a timeout. The Grizzlies are down one with 6 minutes left in the first. I have a feeling I'm not going to be talking about basketball for much longer.
-- I just noticed the Warriors are wearing their sleeved jerseys. Curry looks much cooler splashing threes in non-sleeved jerseys. Everyone does if we're really being honest.
-- HAHAHAHA STEPH CURRY IS A BASKETBALL GOD ONLY ON THIS EARTH TO REMIND US LESSER FOOLS THAT LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. ROOTING FOR BASKETBALL IS MEANINGLESS, EITHER YOU DIE BY CURRY'S HAND OR LIVE LONG ENOUGH FOR THE SPURS TO CUT YOU DOWN.
-- The Warriors are scoring so easily. It's almost like they aren't trying. It's incredible. They aren't playing a ton of defense so the score is close here in the first quarter.
-- I just had to google who number 19 on the Grizzlies was because I forgot PJ Hairston was a person. Apparently he's healthy?
-- We are getting the long anticipated Birdman Grizzilla Andersen vs. Anderson Varejao matchup. I've had this one marked on my calendar for some time.
-- Xavier Munford just threw a behind the back pass to another Grizzly player for a made dunk shot. It was fun. This game is fun. I don't think anyone was expecting that.
-- End of first quarter and the Warriors are leading 31-28. Both teams shot a trillion percent from the field. That is uncharacteristic for one team and just another day at the office for the other.
-- Taylor Swift is singing Jumpman on my television set. I would like this to stop as soon as possible. Oh man she fell. That looked unpleasant. She should probably be more careful.
-- I haven't been paying attention (I was snapchatting) to the second quarter, but it's been three minutes and each team has only scored two points. Hairston is shooting. Nice to know that injury didn't hurt his confidence, but it's also not great his confidence is so high.
-- Carter continues utilizing his old man game in this game. It's so much fun to watch him go in the post.
-- Birdman Grizzilla just scored and the game is tied. NOW A VINCE CARTER THREE AND THE GRIZZLIES ARE LEADING WHAT. A TIME. TO. BE. ALIVE.
-- MUNFORD TO BIRDMAN WHO DUNKED. THIS IS FUN. STEPH CURRY ISN'T IN THE GAME SO IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MATTER, BUT IT'S FUN. Xavier Munford is good. The Grizzlies got lucky with that one.
-- Vince Carter tip in to put the Grizzlies up five with 4:52 left in the first half. He has 13 points and is awesome. SOMEONE (me) has written several times that he should have retired after last season. His play since the Grizzlies were taken out like Memphis was the set of a Riddick film has been fantastic.
-- Oh Golden State put Curry and Draymond Green back in. This is about to get less fun really quickly. Green is already doing stuff.
-- CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR TRAILER ALERT OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR MAY 6. ANTMAN IS RUNNING ON AN ARROW JEREMY RENNER SHOT. IF YOU DON'T GET EXCITED ABOUT THAT YOU ARE A ROBOT. I don't care if that's not really how physics work. Go away with your logic.
The only way I could get more hyped for that movie is if they decided to throw Daredevil in there even though that would make no sense. I'm so excited for the Iron Man-Captain America matchup. It doesn't look like the Hulk is in there, which is disappointing. Same with Thor, but that's okay. Still going to melt faces.
-- Klay Thompson has hit a jillion threes and the Warriors are all open. That's not going to cut it. Warriors lead by one with 11 seconds left in the game. A Grizzly player just fouled Ezeli. Two free throws for him and he hits both. Three-point lead for the Warriors. Born Ready just bounced the ball into the cameraman.
He has been so bad outside of the first five minutes of the first half. He's not doing the things that made him so good when he joined the Grizzlies. It's like he learned the plays then started thinking too much. He needs some more freedom and a shorter leash from Joerger if he's going to succeed.
HALFTIME WATER/CHIPOTLE BREAK - Memphis 50 - Golden State 53
-- Perry Cox is the spokesperson for Speed Stick now? Strange career move. He was such a good doctor. I bet J.D. and Turk are so disappointed.
-- The third quarter has started with an airballed Green three and a Vince pullup in the lane. Everything is coming up Grizzlies today. Vince has 15 points and five rebounds.
-- Zach Randolph post up in transition gets a bucket. He's been Memphis' MVP so far this season, but he's 3-11 so far and has taken some questionable shots. It's hard to bang in the post against Ezeli and Green. They're both very capable defenders. They made him rely on his jumper in the first and that didn't work out.
-- LOL Steph Curry layup then transition three. The basketball robot has decided to start trying. I'm expecting the rest of the basketball equivalent of the scorched earth policy to go down soon.
-- Six minutes left in the third and Draymond Green just dunked then Hairston missed his 11,000th three as a Memphis Grizzly. Memphis trails 62-61.
-- It's all tied at 65 then Born Ready scored in the lane. When someone writes a book about this Warriors team they're going to have to write a chapter about how a 39 year old Vince Carter and someone named Born Ready ruined the Warriors chances at the most wins in a season. I hope they do a 30 for 30 on it. I'll participate.
-- BORN READY AGAIN. Step back baseline jumper this time. Curry with a turnover. He's all out of sorts, he's 1-10 from three and hasn't been as electric as he usually is.
-- JAMYCHAL GREEN JUST ENDED THE WARRIORS WITH A PUTBACK JAM. THEN MUNFORD WITH A SHOT AND OH MY GOODNESS THE GRIZZLIES LEAD BY NINE. THIS IS MADNESS.
-- Draymond Green just dunked and fist pumped. He is angry. Oh he just pulled JaMychal Green down by the neck. That should be a flagrant, but oh they ruled it as a common foul. Whatever. JAM to the line for two, he makes both and the Grizz are up nine with 28 seconds left in the third.
-- Curry for three, but Munford goes full court with six seconds on the clock and makes a layup. That was spectacular. Most younger players settle for the heave there instead of driving directly at the basket. Warriors defense failed all over the court, and Munford took advantage. Grizzlies lead 78-70 going into the fourth quarter.
-- Warriors are starting the fourth with Livingston, Barbosa, Thompson, Barnes and Speights. Grizzlies countering with Munford, Hairston, Born Ready, A Grizzly player and ZBo.
-- Zach Randolph just had a big miss in transition with the Grizzlies up nine. That could come back to haunt the them. Born Ready sends Thompson to the line with 10:15 left. He makes both and t he lead is at sevem. ZBo just missed another shot. He is 3-14, make that 4-14 after a layup. There is no rim protection in this Warriors lineup . They need to attack the rim time after time.
-- Warriors down seven with 8:45. Timeout on the floor. Oh yay Farmar is back in for Munford who has been fantastic. Farmar has continued his streak of not impressing me ever. Of course he hits a three as I'm typing this. Grizzlies up 10 with eight minutes left.
-- A Grizzly Player with two straight baskets and Golden State calls timeout. Wonder when they put Green and Curry back in the game.
-- Local pariah Austin Reynolds just tweeted this.
oh come on I just want to see the Warriors break the stupid record— Austin Reynolds (@ReynoldsRant) April 10, 2016
Don't worry none of us actually like him. (Editors Note: This is not hyperbole. This is completely accurate-MB)
-- My computer just froze because it is an actual piece of garbage, but the Warriors have hit two threes and the lead is at 3. Munford with an out of control shot and Green responds with an and-1, but misses the free throw. Grizzlies lead with 3:30 left in the game.
-- Randolph with two straight buckets on Green and the lead is at five. JUST KEEP THROWING IT TO THE HAND. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN CARRY THEM HERE.
-- Zach Randolph just put on some spectacular footwork while guarding Curry on the three-point line, but it ended in a Barnes three. If ZBo is going to do that you have to guard elsewhere, LOOKIN AT YOU VINCE CARTER.
-- A Draymond Green basket was just waved off with 1:00 on the clock. That's going to count and gives the Warriors a 100-99 lead. The Warriors have turned into the terrifying death machine the last few minutes.
-- As they have every timeout the past two quarters the Grizzlies went to ZBo out of the timeout and it didn't work. Curry misses a three, but the Warriors get the rebound. Oh man this is crazy terrifying. Curry with ANOTHER MISSED THREE. Memphis ball with 8 seconds left. If they draw up a Randolph post up.....
-- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA Born Ready just did Born Ready things. That's just disappointing. He was out of control on the initial layup, but it did look like he got fouled on the second attempt. The refs will never give you that call with three seconds left.
-- Nobody expected the Grizzlies to be in that game. Tonight was fun. I completely expected a blowout and to be writing about Star Wars and food here. The Warriors are at 71 wins. It'd be cool if they won 73 against Memphis or if Memphis ruined it on the last game of the season. Either way, the next game should be really fun.