/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/50519113/Chris_20Wallace.0.jpg)
As I’m sure you’re probably all aware, Memphis Grizzlies GM Chris Wallace shares his name with someone slightly more Notorious. As it turns out, though, a name isn’t all that the two men have in common.
Grizzly Bear Blues sources close to the situation have informed us that the man in charge of the Grizzlies front office is currently set to drop his first mixtape very shortly. And, from what we’ve been told, it’s 100% hot fire.
While we weren’t able to get a full copy of this mixtape, our sources were able to provide a brief sample of one track. This track, titled “Analyze,” takes aim at ESPN’s recently released projections, as well as a well-known NFL reporter.
GBB’s own Flemdawg, who has been providing artwork for Wallace (aka Grizzly Smalls, aka Notorious G.R.I.Z.), was also able to procure this photograph for us. According to Flemdawg, this picture will serve as the cover of the mixtape, tentatively titled Ready to Grind.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/6991037/Chris%20Wallace.jpg)
Grizzly Smalls has granted GBB exclusive permission to publish the first two verses of “Analyze.” Check out the verses below, and let us know what you think. Will you be copping this mixtape when it drops?
Verse 1
I snicker at Pythagorean
Estimates, win and loss listings
Analysts think we stink, these haters
Of our aged players
Still they love Jeremy Lin in Brooklyn
Dead wrong, they too headstrong, we been there all along
Shocking big time, the age of Grit ‘n’ Grind
If we lose, we get ticked dude, whoop tricks who
Talking bad of us, Clips don’t want us
They won’t walk to us, officials all try to screw us
What up? You know we don’t bluff
Memphis loves Conley so much, Captain Clutch
Draining those threes to win in OT
We resigned MC easily, one-fifty three
Ed Werder tried stumping, but he wasn’t saying nothing
So we just, added piece, after piece
Cuban in free agency, can’t get these
Like Parsons, max whoever want it, cap cash we gonna flaunt it
Six year playoff streak, we on it
Hook
Grizzlies, Grizzlies, Grizzlies, you know it’s true
Math-based models can’t analyze you
Plus they hate your mud-slowed speed
Guess that’s why they’ve got you as the ninth seed
Verse 2
Pelicans in NO still got some big holes
Plus OKC just lost old KD
Rockets are unknown, even with Mike D’antone
And the Mavericks looking tragic with Barnes added (hah!)
Now who’s left with the Grizz, who’s there in the West
Those Lakers? You jest, and the Kings suck at best
Spurs in Texas, TD, he’s played his last
And most of that team’s prime is past
The Jazz, next up, don’t make me laugh
Everyone keeps saying that the torch is passed
Now last, Minnesota yapping about Wiggs and KAT
This and that, Thibodeau coaching, working his craft
They still ain’t proven nothing
That’s true till they do something
You heard what I’m saying, Wolves can’t make a statement
Two years removed from a finish in the basement
Face it, I’m right; you fools are full of lies
Playoff streak alive till you can prove it’s otherwise
(Author’s note: This is a work of fiction. Chris Wallace is not, in fact, dropping a mixtape, and he didn’t write these awesome verses. I wish it were so, but alas, it is not.)
(Site Manager’s note: It’s the offseason. Let us have some fun.)