In case you haven’t heard, the NBA Draft is tonight. NBA teams will gather together to pick players to be on their teams in hopes of finding good players to carry them to a championship.
Unfortunately, the Memphis Grizzlies won’t be doing that. Why? Because they don’t have any picks in this year’s draft.
Now, there’s been a lot of talk about the Grizzlies using a magic time machine and trading draft picks from THE FUTURE to get into this year’s draft. So if you’ve got absolutely nothing better to do, you can sit around and wait for Woj to break the news five minutes before they announce it on TV.
Here are three things you can do to kill time while you wait for that sweet, sweet Woj Bomb tweet notification to light up your usually lifeless phone screen to tell you that the Grizzlies have traded into the second round to draft someone who will be out of the league within two seasons.
1. Have a sweet potato and a glass of wine.
Unlike the popular Nicktoon show, Doug, and it’s beet-centric propaganda would have you believe, sweet potatoes are actually nature’s candy. And what better way to enjoy the non-Grizz-related portion of the draft (i.e. most of it) than by having yourself a big helping of nature’s candy?
Not sure how to cook a perfect sweet potato? Well, GBB’s own Flemdawg has got you covered there with this recipe he stole from some website:
If you’re 21, I also recommend enjoying this sweet potato with a nice, big glass of red wine. Wine is made of grapes. And most people don’t know this, but sweet potatoes and grapes both come from plants, making sweet potatoes and wine the perfect combination.
2. Go to the Redbox and rent a movie.
Thanks to those lousy Millennials, there are no Blockbuster videos stores left. Fortunately, there’s still the next best thing: Redbox. With Redbox, you get all of the annoyances of standing behind an imbecile taking forever to check out without the added convenience of air conditioning.
In spite of those shortcomings, Redbox still lets you rent movies. In fact, just this weekend, I rented Beauty and the Beast. And let me tell you, if you liked the animated version but thought it needed to be way longer and to have several terrible songs added, this is the movie for you.
If you’re still missing Blockbuster even after renting a movie, just forget to return the movie to Redbox, and you can still rack up those egregious late fees!
3. Go down the YouTube rabbit hole and try and figure out if Avril Lavigne is actually dead.
If you’re not familiar with this story, start with this Twitter thread:
avril lavigne is dead & was replaced by a look alike: a conspiracy theory thread pic.twitter.com/9eearQ2rte— k (@givenchyass) May 13, 2017
Please let me know your findings, as I am very curious to know the truth.
4. Try to find a cure for cancer.
I mean, you’re probably not doing anything else. You might as well put that down time to good use.
As you can see, even though the Grizzlies might not have a pick, there are still plenty of ways to have fun on NBA Draft night. Besides, even if the Grizzlies do wind up making a deal for a pick, their draft history probably means you’re better off wasting time than finding out whose career the Grizzlies have just ruined.